Do you find that your child can trigger arguments between you and your partner? Do you and your partner disagree on how to approach situations with your child whether it’s setting boundaries or how to respond when they are upset? Have all sorts of emotions been brought to the surface now that you added a child to your family?

Over our years in practice, we have found that having a child can Shake. Things. Up. Maybe you wanted to parent differently from your own parents and you find that you are right there doing things you never wanted to do: yelling, arguing, controlling. You’re trying your hardest to get through to your partner. Maybe the parenting experience has been so overwhelming that you have checked-out from your marriage and are no longer feeling connected. Resentment builds.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is based on theories of attachment and emotion. The model focuses on reorganizing our emotions in order to experience more functional patterns of emotion regulation. Rather than focusing on the content of an argument (who said what, who is right or wrong) we focus on the underlying emotional processes. When we can understand the cycle we get stuck in, regardless of the content, we can then start to have different emotional experiences together with our partner.